The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Wed Jul 06, 2016 5:22 am

The weekend brought with it not just Independence Day, but also the climax of the 2016 SWA Summer Tag League! Congratulations to your 2016 SWA Tag League Trophy holders:

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BHB!

BHB will challenge Tiger & Lion for the SWA Tag Team Championship at Emergence later this month.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby orochigeese » Wed Jul 06, 2016 5:36 am

:markout: :markout:

I updated Saji's UBL bio to reflect this awesome achievement!!

This is the first official tournament and accomplishment that Saji ever won in a tag team.

but also the climax of the 2016 SWA Summer Tag League!


Saji: "We climaxed all over SWA."
Connor: "..."

Looking forward to seeing how they do against Tiger & Lion but really happy already that they won the tag league!!

Saji: "Lions, tigers, and bare asses all around." 8-)
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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby BadKitty » Mon Jul 11, 2016 9:35 am

Hot off the e-presses (that's how the internet works, right?), the latest Angry Wrassle Nerd blog!

Spoiler: show
Well, they did it. They actually fucking did it. Put on your ponchos and get out the galoshes, because this shit-storm just went straight to F-5 status. And no, I’m not talking about Brock fucking Lesnar’s latest UFC deal. I’m talking about Sierra Wrestling All-Stars and Alex Morgainne’s batshit crazy decision to book Fabio motherFUCKING Silva in a title match.

So, picture my Saturday night: there I am, watching Toxico collect the three-count on Dash the human highlight reel, waiting for them to drop the bombshell that was the complete Emergence card. I just didn’t expect that bomb to be a nuclear death-turd! This shit is like the Finger-Poke of Doom got thrown into the blender with Mae Young giving birth to a fucking HAND, cross-pollinated with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3--you ass-monkeys know EXACTLY what I’m talking about, don’t even try denying it--and frappe’d into a giant green ooze diarrhea smoothie. It’s the most vile, disgusting pile of pig vomit to make its way onto my TV screen since John Rambo, and that was a fuck-storm of epic proportions.

Look, I’ve already said what the problem is with this slimy, sleazy turd-sucker being on my TV. So, why--WHY--is this fuck-face deserving of a title match? Why in the name of Paul E. Dangerously would SWA fans fork over our hard-earned money to suffer through this shit-stain vomiting all over yet another main event?

For argument’s sake, let’s just take a look at the card that this unholy wad of skunk-scrotum has tainted forever with his presence. We’ve got Toxico versus Blaze for the Aftermath title; that fucker right there is worth at least half the price of admission! We’ve got Tiger & Lion versus BHB--look, Saji might be a sick fuck, but the man can GO! That’s a highlight-reel worthy match! Joshi-wise, we have Becky Bravo throwing down with Mieko Suzuyama, so what else do you need? A giant wading pool of chocolate pudding?

But then! But THEN, we come to the main event! The highest point of the night, the thing most wrestlers only dream of reaching, the match every fan should be waiting for...and we get Fabio motherFUCKING Silva. Look, I’m a huge fan of Armel St. Martin. I love his matches, I know that crazy bastard could pull a good match out of Moppy, for fuck’s sake! But to drag him down by condemning him to a title match with this third-rate hack, this black hole of charisma, this greasy bucket of yak puke...it’s a travesty. This shit puts Vince Russo to shame. CZW could put together a better main event. Fuck it--even JCW could put together a better main event!

Already, I can hear the counter-arguments. “Fabio Silva is a proven main-eventer!” they say. “Fabio Silva is a former Renegades of the Ring heavyweight champion!” “Fabio’s sister sucked my best friend off that one time!” And I say FUCK ALL OF THAT. The only reason Fabio Silva ever main-evented a PPV before was because Renegades of the Ring was LITERALLY DYING and they didn’t have anyone else to put in that slot. For SWA--a promotion on the rise, with a consistent history of amazing main events--to stoop this low, what must be going through the heads of the people in charge? What were they THINKING? WERE they thinking?

I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I can’t even begin to think of a single situation in which I would even CONSIDER the idea of giving Fabio motherFUCKING Silva a chance to be SWA World Champion. The very thought of that. Think about that for a moment. Let that roll off your tongue. “Fabio Silva; SWA World Champion.” Doesn’t it just make you want to retch? If you’re Alex Morgainne, why would you even let that possibility slip into your mind for a single second? Alex, if you’re reading this, we’re here to help. I’ve got my clue bat all lined up.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Mon Mar 06, 2017 9:17 pm

SWA Announces Official Championship Rename
Feb. 28, 2017
Portland, Oregon - Sierra Wrestling All-Stars, the west-coast wrestling phenomenon that has caught the attention of the entire United States, announced today that it would officially be renaming their SWA World Championship. The new belt, now known as the SWA World Openweight Championship, will debut this month on SWA Television.

Said SWA Co-Owner Alex Morgainne, “The SWA World Championship has a long and proud history, tracing its 30 year lineage back to the NWPW World Heavyweight and World Cruiserweight Championships. At the founding of Sierra Wrestling All-Stars, we made the conscious choice to eliminate weight divisions, thriving on the fires of pure competition. While we have always emphasized this, especially with the SWA Aftermath Championship, there has long been a prejudice among professional wrestling fans that only a heavyweight can hold the World Championship. With this rename, we are officially confirming and emphasizing our own convictions that any wrestler, regardless of weight class, can have what it takes to be a World Champion.”

Current SWA World Champion El Rey Dorado had this to say in a statement taken this afternoon: “It doesn’t matter what they call the title. If the competitors coming for my belt are 100 pounds, 200 pounds, or 400 pounds, I hold the championship because I am the best. El Rey Dorado es numero uno. Los Diablos estamos numero uno. Comprende?”

SWA co-owner James Fushichou could not be reached for comment.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby BadKitty » Fri Mar 10, 2017 8:25 pm

SWA Announces Huge New Signing

March 7, 2017
Portland, Oregon - As of today, Sierra Wrestling All-Stars has officially announced the signing of multiple-time FPCPP Anarchy and Battlefront champion unimportantguy to their main roster.

In a bold statement, the 18-year veteran of the ring commented when asked about his choice to sign with SWA, “I've been wrestling since I was fourteen. I know how this works. I’ll fight whoever they pay me to fight. But let me tell you, I’d fight that prick Fabio Silva for free.”

Said SWA Co-Owner Alex Morgainne, “We here in SWA are committed to showcasing the best talent in the professional wrestling industry. We know a strong investment, a strong talent when we see it, and any differences we might have had aside, I know unimportantguy is a skilled wrestler who will thrive in the atmosphere of competition.”

SWA Co-Owner James Fushichou could not be reached for comment.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:47 pm

WARNING: AN INVADING FACTION APPROACHES

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Debuting in 2016, the "Three Devils" brought into SWA by Samael Tangaroa have run wild across SWA, with faction leader El Rey Dorado holding the SWA World Openweight Championship since July 2016, and faction-mates Fabio Silva and Aguijon Tachibana winning the SWA Tag Team Championships from BHB in January 2017. Los Diablos show no signs of slowing, despite raising the ire of such SWA stars as Connor Cipris, Kazuo Saji, Armel St. Martin, and N-Trio, among others. To quote El Rey Dorado, "Los Diablos estamos numero uno." And unless something changes, this trio of vicious cut-throats stand poised to continue their reign of dominance over SWA well into 2017.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Fri Mar 31, 2017 5:37 am

Mieko Suzuyama wrote:@RealSuzuyamaSWA
I will debut NEW THEME at Aftermath. :) :)

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby BadKitty » Fri Apr 07, 2017 5:42 pm

Huh. Looks like a few Angry Wrassle Nerd posts got missed in the current shit-storm going on in SWA. Wouldn't surprise me if they fell through the cracks because he dropped them sometime in February, and just backdated them to coincide with the PPV.

Spoiler: show
2016 SUCKED!

Okay, stop me if you’ve heard this shit already. Wait, of course you have. Why the fuck would you be here if you didn’t? There’s not a single fucking donkey-fuck reading this who doesn’t already know how bad the state of the dis-union in SWA 2016 sucked. I mean, where do I even fucking start?

I mean, first and worst, we’ve got that god-mode piece of buffalo-turd Samael putting Thunder on the shelf for good. This is what you get sending the greenest jack-off since that fuckwad Shiranui that NWPW thought was their ticket to stardom up against your hottest tag man, thinking maybe, just fucking maybe Thunder can make him suck just that little bit less. Didn’t they learn their lesson the last time they let a fucking psychopath on the roster? At least Darius Casimir was just a bloodthirsty maniac who nearly caved people’s heads in because he got his sick jollies ripping people apart. He wasn’t some batshit conspiracy theory-spouting nut-fuck trying to start a cult of crazy. I mean, do we seriously need to even discuss the kind of Charlie Sheen drinking tiger blood fuck-wittery Samael keeps spewing about SWA management? And they just trust this no-talent hack with a grudge in their ring? What the fuck was Alex Morgainne smoking this time?

So now, we have the South Boston Southpaw out of the business, permanently. To add insult to injury, we lose the other half of the Laytner tag-team to this fiasco, because Chance has more than a dreg of decency and won’t abandon her brother to a life of mediocrity. I just can’t understand how this could possibly be a worthwhile trade: keep Samael, lose Chance and Thunder. How the fuck does this monkey knife-fight even begin to sound fair?

Fuck it. Moving on before I puke acid blood out my eyeballs or something.

Now we get to the thing no one can unsee, and I should know. I damn near gave myself alcohol poisoning trying to scrub this vision of rotting roadkill from my memory. The arrival of Fabio MotherFUCKING Silva on the scene. The first of Samael’s so-called “Three Devils,” and by far the diarrhea-sauce on this turd sundae. How the fuck does this miserable wad of cow-pie get himself a title shot after he managed to fuck Connor Cipris and Armel St. Martin up the ass during their title rematch? Since when does screwing the champ and his challenger out of a clean match give someone a chance at the gold? I don’t remember that ever working for N-Trio, even when he was so far up Jamie Fushichou’s ass he could see daylight out his nostrils. Holy miscarriage of justice, Batman!

And the puke-train doesn’t stop there. Sure, Fabio MotherFUCKING Silva gets his title match, he even takes every possible shot to cripple Armel St. Martin before they even get to Emergence, and then he tries to beg off with a pulled groin. Yeah, right. From what, banging ring-rats? Instead, he tells everyone right at the start of the show that he’s got a replacement, a real devil of a guy straight outta Mexico. So, instead of even getting the joy of seeing Armel bounce Silva, we get some nobody out of Puerto Escondido who calls himself “El Rey Dorado.” Yeah, I’d never heard of this fuckboy either, but anything’s better than watching Fabio MotherFUCKING Silva shit all over yet another SWA title match, right?

I mean, I can admit when I’m wrong. El Rey Dorado is totally not a waste of oxygen. He took it straight to Armel, gave him one hell of a fight, and I could totally have been behind him taking the gold in a straight-up, legit wrestling match. I might be out of my fucking mind, but I seriously don’t think El Rey even needed to cheat. He’s actually good, I mean honestly and genuinely a damn good wrestler. I’d watch him any day of the week, if he actually went out there and scored a clean, clear win.

Instead, some little bleach-blond fuck comes tearing in out of nowhere, while that walking skidmark Silva kept the referee busy on the apron. Why, why in the unholy name of Bobby Heenan do they keep letting that mouth-breather Toby Russel ref the title matches? This shit wouldn’t happen if Fletcher was in charge of this fucking one-ring circus act. But of course, Toby just can’t keep his fucking shit together, and never even sees it when this Aguijon Tachibana creeper slides into the ring and rings Armel’s bell with a kick that’d probably turn Connor Cipris greener than the fucking Hulk with envy. Then, to add insult to injury, he throws down this reverse-flip 450 what-the-fuck I find out later he calls a “Deathstalker Press,” slides out of the ring as slick as he slithered in, and lets El Rey take the pin. What the actual fuck. I mean, you’ve got the champ dead-to-rights, you’ve got this match on fucking lock-down, and you still feel the need to let your ass-cackle buddies jump the other guy? Minus all respect in under a minute.

And so we come to the end of the year, with this gang of baboons parading around that title El Rey has somehow managed to keep around his waist. I have no fucking clue how he’s doing this. It’d be one thing if he was a greasy slime-turd like that rat-bastard Silva. If he needed his goon squad to throw themselves in the line of fire at every turn, like fucking D-X pulling Triple H’s ass out of the fire like some Saturday morning cartoon villain’s incompetent minions. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t need any of that. He can just go in there and fucking wrestle, and he’d probably still have taken down all comers. He just does it because he can. He sinks to that level because he wants to, and I just don’t fucking understand! Why is this guy wasting himself working with a no-talent buffalo diarrhea-turd like Fabio MotherFUCKING Silva?

Oh, and it gets even fucking better. They just announced the Crescendo card, and it looks like these “Los Diablos” jack-offs are slated for a tag-team title match. The entire thought of these scum-suckers holding the tag-team titles makes me want to chug a whole goddamn bottle of Drain-o. The fuck were they thinking?


Spoiler: show
Los Diablos SWA Tag-Team Champions. FML.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby orochigeese » Fri Apr 07, 2017 7:11 pm

Holy shit I loved the venom in that post as well as the narrative. That was awesome!!. I am legitimately pissed on behalf of the fans and Armel for what happened there due to how brilliantly that was written :D

Great way to get Los Diablos ACTUAL HEEL HEAT (virtually unheard of these days) while describing what happened.

Saji is pissed off on behalf of Cipris and SWA about all of this.
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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Sun Apr 09, 2017 4:51 am

The following was taken from SWA's official web site:

Full Card Announced for SWA Aftermath
The PPV sensation known as SWA Aftermath is coming once again! We are now ready to announce the full card of matches for the show:

LARSEN MILES RETIREMENT MATCH: Larsen Miles, Akira Koshin, and Kaori Nakajima vs. Beyond2000 (Dominic Nguyen and Tyler Faulk) and Lexi Heart
SWA TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: High Fly Heroes (Dash McCaine and Ashlyn Reed) vs. Los Diablos (Fabio Silva and Aguijon Tachibana)
DEBUT MATCH: unimportantguy vs. Becky Bravo
SWA AFTERMATH CHAMPIONSHIP: Raye Groves vs. Kyle Sieras
Connor Cipris vs. Kazuo Saji
SWA JOSHI CHAMPIONSHIP: Cerise vs. Mieko Suzuyama
STEEL CAGE MATCH FOR THE SWA WORLD OPENWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: Armel St. Martin vs. El Rey Dorado (c)

SWA Aftermath is scheduled for April 30th, 2017 in Portland, Oregon.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Sun Apr 09, 2017 5:14 am

Excerpted from the 4/8 SWA TV:

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After a big victory for BHB against The PartyCrashers, Connor Cipris grabs the house microphone.

Connor: Kazuo. I know you're dying to explode in a million catchphrases, but there is something I need to say.

Saji gestures for Connor to proceed.

Connor: You have proven yourself as a fine warrior and a great partner, and I think we make a great team fighting against the dishonorable dogs of Los Diablos. But I feel that we must strike against the head of the dragon. I wish to challenge El Rey Dorado for the SWA World Openweigh-

Saji holds up a hand

Saji: Yo Connor BHB 4 lyfe and I'mma let you finish but if you want that title you gotta prove to me you're down to clown and that means going on on one with the chrome one.

Connor: What?

Saji: The ole Tennessein is Believin.

Connor: I have no idea what that means.

Saji: All hands on deck for this. I gotta make sure you're the last man up, the final bro down, and the only son who can handle this business. I gotta FIGHT you to FEEL you. I gotta feel that you're ready.

Connor: Okay, now I want to fight you just to shut you up. We do this at Aftermath, then win or lose, we light it up in the club.

Saji: We gotta fight it up then light it up. BLOOD, HONOR AND BI-

The feed abruptly cuts to commerical.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby orochigeese » Sun Apr 09, 2017 6:08 am

Loved this promo so much :lol: :markout:

These two are so f'n hilarious together and make such a great team :D

This was also a cool concept. Even in his ultra douchiness, I like Saji looking out for Connor's state of mind.
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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Mon Apr 10, 2017 5:28 am

Hey guys, I just got home from work a little bit ago so I don't know exactly when he sent this, but I got a message from the Angry Wrasslin' Nerd to share with everyone.

Angry Wrasslin' Nerd wrote:Just looked at the full card for Aftermath and felt some feelings. Planning to have a big blog entry out this week, but I need to do some research first.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Tue Apr 11, 2017 6:09 am

So the Nerd just dropped doozy of a blog, which you should really all read if you have any interest in SWA. I've mirrored it here for your convenience.

Spoiler: show
The Angry Wrasslin’ Nerd’s Career Retrospectives: Larsen Miles

I first heard the name Larsen Miles back in about 1995. I was 12 years old, and MMA was the next big thing. Joe Son had recently been punched in the dick until he passed out, and the really in-the-know people were talking about this crazy Japanese thing called Pancrase. This was the age of names like Ken Shamrock, Dan Severn, and Bas Rutten. It was also the age when a 24-year old SoCal surfer dude first entered himself into an obscure undercard in Japan.

Larsen Miles seemed at first like the most unlikely MMA fighter possible. A bleach-blond surfer and body-builder from Santa Monica, California, Larsen Miles had little to no martial arts experience or training. Larsen Miles had poor grappling and worse striking. Larsen Miles did this stupid fucking white boy hip-wiggle before and sometimes even during his fights. He was absolutely ridiculous and basically the only reason anyone was paying attention was to watch this loser get his shit kicked in time and again.

But as time went on, something kind of incredible happened. Larsen Miles never gave up. In fact, time and time again, he seemed to improve remarkably from fight to fight, soon grappling like a complete natural. By 1998, Larsen Miles had gone from a bad joke that nobody took seriously to a legitimate competitor. His series of fights that year with Akira Koshin had audiences literally on their feet with excitement, and Miles’ 1999 fight with Minoru Suzuki is considered by many to be a definitive clinic on submission grappling. That Miles lost his fight against Suzuki should not be considered a mark against him; Suzuki did not have a great 1999, but he was still among the best catch wrestlers on the planet at the time, and Miles took him to the limit.

Just as well-known as Miles’ fights between 1998 and 2002 is his friendship with Akira Koshin. The two hard-drinking, hard-fighting men became infamous in bars and clubs throughout Japan, and Koshin was said to have kept a list of all the places they had been kicked out of, adding to it like a scorecard with every new incident. Miles and Koshin were riding high, and their post-fight parties were a thing of legend.

Some say it was association with Minoru Suzuki that first prompted Larsen Miles to get into professional wrestling. Other people claim that Miles and Koshin were run out of the burgeoning MMA business for their party-boy attitudes. Whatever the case, Miles and Koshin both debuted as professional wrestlers in 2002, at first separately, and later as a tag-team. Whereas Miles had been the ugly duckling in MMA, starting horrible and slowly coming to be a great fighter, he was an immediate natural in pro wrestling. In fact, it seemed as if the tables had turned; Koshin, a fighting prodigy, was seen initially as an ungainly and lackluster professional wrestler. Nonetheless, Miles’ help, Koshin eventually became respected in the industry, and the two made quite a name for themselves by 2005.

Here’s where the story gets murky, but I’ll try to put things together as best I can. According to rumors that surfaced around the time, Larsen Miles and Akira Koshin’s high-roller partying caught up to them. The duo owed quite a lot of money to the yakuza, and they were coming to collect. It’s speculated now that the Miles and Koshin signed with Sierra Wrestling All-Stars in return for some kind of protection, what with SWA co-owner James Fushichou’s now-acknowledged yakuza connections. They debuted in SWA as a tag team in summer of 2005, and became instant fan-favorites in the Portland, Oregon-based promotion that we all know and, presumably, love.

Most of us know the next part of this story. Larsen Miles and Akira Koshin become multiple time SWA Tag Team Champs, their feud with the PartyCrashers is the stuff of legends, everybody fucking loves these guys.

Then, one day in early 2012, Akira Koshin just up and disappears. No-shows several SWA shows, doesn’t answer his phone, nobody sees him. As the days turn into weeks, Larsen Miles starts to get seriously concerned for his friend. He tenders his resignation with SWA, and he disappears, too. Nobody hears from either of them for four fucking years. FOUR. Fucking. Years. Rumors run wild. People think they’ve been murdered by the yakuza. Some people suggest that James Fushichou put out a hit on them. Shit goes basically fucking bananas.

Fast-forward to late 2015. James Fushichou publicly admits his yakuza connections, and swears that he is going to eliminate yakuza influence in SWA and in his personal business. Lines get blurred. Mysterious Japanese dudes in expensive suits show up at SWA shows. Fucking Samael gets thrown into the mix somehow, with his crazy conspiracy theory horseshit. It all gets pretty fucking insane, and it all comes to a head at Aftermath 2016, where Samael says he will provide proof positive that, despite James Fushichou’s insistence to the contrary, the yakuza still have agents within SWA.

Just when things look like they’re at their worst, with Samael claiming Lexi Heart, of all people, is a yakuza agent, and threatening her with whatever his “judgment” was to be, who should return out of fucking nowhere but Larsen Miles and Akira Koshin, who run off Samael (who was probably afraid of getting hurt before his match with N-Trio that night), beat the ever-loving fuck out of the mysterious Japanese dudes at ringside, and enjoy a hero’s welcome from the red-hot crowd.

Since then, it’s always felt kind of like a one-last-time kind of deal. Miles at this point is 46 years old, and Koshin isn’t much younger at 43. Despite the elation at their return, it’s more than clear at this point that both Miles and Koshin have both lost a step in the ring, and it did sort of start to feel like it was only a matter of time.

When I saw that Aftermath card, though, with “LARSEN MILES RETIREMENT MATCH” in those big block letters, I gotta admit I felt some feelings. I grew up watching Larsen Miles, and they just don’t make ‘em like that anymore. Miles is one of the last of a generation, a guy who fought and thrived in both MMA and wrestling, and attained fame and fortune both in Japan and America. With Ken Shamrock basically retired, there aren’t really any more of those old crossover stars working in America. And unless you count massively underwhelming turds like Bobby Lashley, there’s unlikely to ever be any more.

So what’s next for SWA? Who will be the new stars that carry us into the next generation? There are some obvious answers, like Mieko Suzuyama and Armel St. Martin and even fucking unimportantguy if I’m forced to admit it. But a Larsen Miles is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of guy, and I can’t imagine there being another big success story on the level of him for a very long time.

Until next time, this is the Angry Wrasslin’ Nerd, signing off. I need a beer now. Fuck.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby orochigeese » Wed Apr 12, 2017 3:26 pm

I love these so blog posts so much :markout:

The backstory for your characters and world your promotion exists in is developed so well with these!!!! I get your passion for your characters and storylines. This was really a very entertaining and informative read 8-)

I didn't really know anything about this match before but now I really care about it 8-)
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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Tue Apr 18, 2017 3:48 am

SWA Wrestler Profiles: Cerise

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Real Name: Jayden Chastain
Nicknames: "Cherry," "Taiyou 2.0"
Birthdate: 9/12/1997
Height: 176cm
Weight: 60kg
Finisher: Stella Nascente (Scorpio Rising)
Hometown: Redding, California
Entrance Theme: Road of Resistance - BABYMETAL

Spoiler: show
This is not the first time that Jun Taiyou announced that she was bringing a new protege into SWA. Her last protege, Mieko Suzuyama, is the current SWA Joshi Champion and one of the most popular wrestlers in SWA. However, Jun Taiyou's controlling personality ultimately caused Suzuyama to rebel; Suzuyama came into her own as a champion, but severed all connections with her mentor. Jun Taiyou swore that she would train a new protege, one who would be able to take out her revenge on the rebellious Suzuyama.

Unsurprisingly, Cerise is much like her mentor, boasting vicious kicks and an apparent complete lack of empathy. Cerise made her way through the 2017 Queen of SWA tournament with astonishing ease, dishing out serious injuries to opponents like Jasmine Bellamy and Keilyn Coardes with no sign of remorse. This new protege, it seems, is squarely under Jun's thumb in every way that Mieko Suzuyama never was. Come Aftermath, we will see if such brutality can overcome the intensity and fighting spirit of the SWA Joshi Champion.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:20 am

Warning: This post does not respect Fire Pro Kayfabe. Shoot comments follow.

Spoiler: show
Larsen Miles and Akira Koshin were the first original edits I ever made in a Fire Pro Wrestling game. I'd already been making edits of my friends for a while when the ideas for the two characters just kind of came into my head one day. The fictional biography I've written through the Angry Wrasslin' Nerd persona for Larsen Miles loosely follows the history of the edit itself, as well as my own history with professional wrestling, MMA, and wrestling games.

Larsen Miles and Akira Koshin have been a pleasure to play with and sim over the past couple decades, but after nearly 20 years, the characters were starting to wear a little thin and their particular style of MMA/Pro Wres hybrid fighting was feeling a bit like old hat. After a lot of thinking and consideration, I ultimately made the decision to run this last match and let them move on into retirement. I'll miss them as active parts of the SWA roster, but as we all know, retirement is almost never a forever thing in professional wrestling. Maybe they'll show up again one day; crusty veterans looking for one last chance at glory.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby orochigeese » Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:03 am

unimportantguy wrote:Warning: This post does not respect Fire Pro Kayfabe. Shoot comments follow.

Spoiler: show
Larsen Miles and Akira Koshin were the first original edits I ever made in a Fire Pro Wrestling game. I'd already been making edits of my friends for a while when the ideas for the two characters just kind of came into my head one day. The fictional biography I've written through the Angry Wrasslin' Nerd persona for Larsen Miles loosely follows the history of the edit itself, as well as my own history with professional wrestling, MMA, and wrestling games.

Larsen Miles and Akira Koshin have been a pleasure to play with and sim over the past couple decades, but after nearly 20 years, the characters were starting to wear a little thin and their particular style of MMA/Pro Wres hybrid fighting was feeling a bit like old hat. After a lot of thinking and consideration, I ultimately made the decision to run this last match and let them move on into retirement. I'll miss them as active parts of the SWA roster, but as we all know, retirement is almost never a forever thing in professional wrestling. Maybe they'll show up again one day; crusty veterans looking for one last chance at glory.


Spoiler: show
That's awesome. I love that description as well as your desire to retire them. That is really cool that Larsen was such a personal edit for you. Congratulations on their retirement 8-) 20 years is a long time. Bolt spans about 18 right now for me, starting from Smackdown 1 but Geese didn't really take shape until 2003. Handling a character and tehir style for 20 years is a very long time. Rather than change them, given their age, it makes sense to retire them and you are giving them that last match in style and respect 8-)


Also - SWA fans may want to check out Kazuo Saji's match (and aftermath) at the recent UBL show.
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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:18 am

orochigeese wrote:Also - SWA fans may want to check out Kazuo Saji's match (and aftermath) at the recent UBL show.


The old SWA/UBL/OGJ business partnership continues to pay dividends in the most satisfying and fun ways.

Spoiler: show
Connor Cipris is now in a war on multiple fronts, fighting Destiny in UBL and Los Diablos in SWA. Who knows where this could take him.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby orochigeese » Wed Apr 19, 2017 6:00 pm

unimportantguy wrote:The old SWA/UBL/OGJ business partnership continues to pay dividends in the most satisfying and fun ways.

Spoiler: show
Connor Cipris is now in a war on multiple fronts, fighting Destiny in UBL and Los Diablos in SWA. Who knows where this could take him.


Spoiler: show
Saji: I don't know where it will take him, but I'm taking him to the club for backing my ass up!! Drinks and champagne room on me, Connor and Sugar. Let's do this town up right. Chr0me united and strong!"

Connor is now in a multi-front war but he's got a lot of allies to stand with him 8-)

Very glad you enjoyed the show and the angle!! I'm going to have Connor's first UBL match soon!
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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Mon May 01, 2017 7:36 pm

With another Aftermath in the books, the Angry Wrasslin' Nerd posted his review of the show on his blog this morning. I've mirrored it here, but to be honest, I kind of disagree with him about the Kazuo Saji vs. Connor Cipris match. I thought it was a great match and a potential show-stealer, and I think he mostly rated it low because of his editorial slant about head kicks.

Spoiler: show
The Angry Wrasslin Nerd’s Wrassleviews: SWA Aftermath 2017

Another Aftermath is in the books, folks, and boy do I have some shit to say about this fuckin’ show. This thing ran the gamut from great fucking matches that will be talked about for years to come to the shit-stains on the wall of a subway bathroom, but let’s jump right in from the beginning and talk about each match.

Larsen Miles Retirement Match
Gonna be super honest here guys. I don’t think I can be objective about this one, but I’ll try. First thing I gotta say is that the atmosphere in the arena was fuckin’ amazing for this shit. Crowd was on their feet, whole nine yards. Everybody in this match wrestled well, but it was obvious what this match was really about: one last ride for one of the greatest tag teams in SWA history. Anybody who read my Career Retrospective on Larsen Miles already know how I feel, but for those that didn’t, the man is a fucking legend and you should go read that shit right fucking now, ass-monkey. And sure, Miles went out on his back, but judging from the ovation he got at the end of the match, it barely mattered. The “Thank you Lars” chants echoed through the arena even after everybody in the match had already made the walk to the back.

The Nerd’s Rating: I’m not crying you’re crying/10

High Fly Heroes vs. Los Diablos
Sweet, sweet schadenfreude. It’s basically half of my reason for watching professional wrestling, and it was in abundance here. After all the shit-talk, all the run-ins, all the BULLSHIT from Los Diablos over the past year, it was refreshing to see two of their members eat shit so hard. High Fly Heroes were in fine form tonight, and I’m glad SWA has relocated their big shows to a place with higher ceilings, because Dash and Ashlynn were on. Fucking. Point. Watching that whiny dick-puke Fabio motherFUCKING Silva throw an epic tantrum on the way out was the final, vindictive catharsis I needed

The Nerd’s Rating: Suck on that Los Diablos/10

unimportantguy vs. Becky Bravo
Riddle me this, wrasslefans. In what fucking universe is a bloody, vicious, all-out brawl the beginning of a beautiful friendship? From the first punch thrown, these two beat each other’s faces in up and down the arena. unimportantguy picked Becky Bravo up and slammed her into a ring post. Becky Bravo fucking stomped on unimportantguy’s face until he was bleeding all over the ring mat. unimportantguy gave Becky Bravo a DDT on the fucking concrete floor out in the crowd. This was one of the bloodiest, nastiest brawls I’ve seen in an SWA ring since the infamous N-Trio vs. Kyle Sieras cage match back in 2009. And yet! And fucking yet! After the final Courage Crusher, after Becky Bravo’s hand was raised in victory, these two crazy fuckers shook hands and took turns raising each others arms. I don’t fucking get it.

The Nerd’s Rating: What the fucking fuck/10

Raye Groves vs. Kyle Sieras
Look, this wasn’t the prettiest match on the card. It wasn’t anywhere close, but I wouldn’t expect it to be. Raye Groves hasn’t even been in SWA that long, and Sieras isn’t stupid, so I can forgive them the slow start. I’ve got nothing against two guys feeling each other out–OUT, you fucking jack-offs, not up–so long as it goes somewhere. And damn, but it went somewhere.

Gotta give this some props, on a card less stacked with epic matches and crazy ass-fuckery, this might have even gone for match of the night. I’d definitely give it that on a TV spot, but not on an stacked pay-per-view like this one.The slow start built to an incredible clash of styles. Kyle Sieras intelligently evolved his strategy as he steadily realized that his striking wasn’t doing anything to Raye Groves, and Groves intelligently countered Sieras’ momentum with daring dives and impressive displays of power. Overall, it wasn’t a barn-burner, it wasn’t a match to end all, but it was a damn good match…except it was running up against some fucking great matches, and just couldn’t quite hold a candle. Congratulations to Raye Groves for an impressive win, and I’m looking forward to seeing what he does as Aftermath Champion.

The Nerd’s Rating: Good fun/10

Kazuo Saji vs. Connor Cipris
I was pretty goddamn hyped for this one going in, what with the amazing goddamn epic of a match these two had at Galaxy of Heroes back in 2014. And it was a good match. But the wrestlers involved aren’t just good, they’re fucking great, and I expect more from these two. In a vacuum, I might be willing to give this match a fairer shake, but a comparison to Galaxy of Heroes is inevitable. At Galaxy of Heroes, Connor Cipris used strategy and viciousness to overcome Kazuo Saji with the Blade Breaker, but here at Aftermath, it felt more just like a contest to see who could hit each other harder.

Okay, editorial break time. Let me be real here. This idea of just being the guy that hits hardest and can take more hits? It’s bullshit. It’s not what professional wrestling is about, and I’m tired of seeing guys throw their careers away getting hit in the head again and again. Both here and in the unimportantguy vs. Becky Bravo match earlier in the night, I was distracted from enjoying the match by worrying about the well-being of the wrestlers involved. I expect more from Connor Cipris, and I expect more from SWA. Connor Cipris says that he wants to go after the SWA World Openweight Championship next, and if that’s true, I want to see him come into that match with more of a strategy than just “kick heads harder than the other guy.”

The Nerd’s Rating: Surprisingly Cringe-Worthy/10

Cerise vs. Mieko Suzuyama
This one had a world of potential to be a show-stealer, and it did not disappoint. Cerise and Mieko were both trained by Jun Taiyou, and as such, they both had a great amount of insight into each other’s styles. They were matched so well, and both were so intense, that nobody wanted this match to end. And the amazing thing is, these ladies kept it all in the ring. They had one of most intense back-and-forth matches of the show without ever needing to go to the outside, and on a pure “what happened bell to bell” measure, only the main event beats this match out. More on that later.

Cerise worked the arm to weaken Mieko’s infamous chops. Mieko worked the leg to weaken Cerise’s vicious kicks. There was flying from the top rope, sick suplexes, and counter-wrestling galore. At the risk of repeating myself and sounding like a certain wrestling announcer, these two knew each other so well, and it showed. This is what joshi wrestling is all about right here folks, and I couldn’t be happier to see Mieko Suzuyama retain the belt after this hard-fought war, carrying the SWA Joshi brand proudly into the future alongside her new awesome theme song (which, if you haven’t heard that shit listen to it right the fuck now).

And holy shit, let’s talk about the delicious dessert at the end of this buffet of violence. At the end of the match, when Jun Taiyou comes out to berate her lacky for losing, Cerise backhands Jun and leaves her lying on the floor. Stone cold awesome.

The Nerd’s Rating: Fucking Rules/10

Armel St. Martin vs. El Rey Dorado
Remember a while back when I was saying that I feel like El Rey Dorado could win his matches clean if he wanted to? Well, I’ll give it to him. He proved it to me here. In the steel cage with Armel St. Martin (The first steel cage match in SWA since the 2009 N-Trio vs. Kyle Sieras massacre), the masked man from Puerto Escondido put on one of the best performances I’ve seen in my life. I don’t think I’m going to be able to forget the sight of a damn near seven foot tall man moonsaulting off the top of the cage for a very long time. Everything that happened bell to bell was an easy candidate for Match of the Year.

But after the bell! After the bell… fuck me sideways. Here comes the fuckboy patrol, as Aguijon Tachibana and goddamn Fabio motherFUCKING Silva come out. As if that’s not bad enough, they gesture to the back, and who comes out with them but Cerise. That’s fucking right. Jun Taiyou’s latest whipping bitch shows a moment of independent thought earlier in the show, only to turn around and join fucking Los Diablos. Excuse me a moment while I vomit blood all over my keyboard. Los Diablos, now with Cerise, come into the ring, bully the techs into dropping the cage again to keep anyone from interfering, and beat the shit out of Armel St. Martin and I can only ask, “WHY?” WHY the FUCK does El Rey Dorado keep fucking doing this shit? If bullshit was an art-form, then this right here was the Shitstine Chapel. You put on one of the best matches of the year so far, you retain the title 100% clean against a multi-time former champion and your biggest rival in SWA, you finally prove that you can in fact win the big fucking matches without your squad of bitches, and then you fucking murder a man on live television in front of a crowd of thousands? There’s nothing left to prove, you shit-flinging orangutan’s asshole! WHY? What fucking purpose could this display of unfettered dickshittery actually serve? Fuck this match, fuck El Rey Dorado, fuck Los Diablos, fuck everything, fuck my fucking LIFE.

The Nerd’s Rating: Fuck my LIFE/10


Be prepared for more soon. The post-Aftermath season is usually packed with wrestler debuts, and of course we have the SWA Summer Tag League coming up, the brackets for which should be announced very soon.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Mon May 08, 2017 10:05 pm

NEXT WEEK on SWA TV, Raye Groves defends his SWA Aftermath Championship against Kenichi Yamada!


Spoiler: show
For shits and giggles, I'm going to try capping SWA TV (ie, non-PPV) Aftermath Championship matches for a while. We'll see how it goes.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Sun May 14, 2017 5:19 am

From this week's SWA TV:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMW2oeKHzB4

Spoiler: show
Raye Groves will defend his Aftermath Championship again in two weeks' time, against unimportantguy.

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby BadKitty » Thu May 18, 2017 8:55 am

Uh-oh. Looks like the Angry Wrassle Nerd is in fine form today. Seems he's got some serious opinions on the latest entries into SWA's roster. Check it out

Spoiler: show
Look, I think if you’re any sort of loyal SWA fan, you know what Aftermath means. No, I’m not talking about burning a shitstorm of title belts in a barrel, I’m not talking about the most contested title in the organization, I’m talking about the changing of the guard. You know what I’m talking about: that magical time of the year. The huge upswing of new faces that show up immediately after the Aftermath PPV, and what that means for SWA as a whole. And of course, 2017 is business as usual.

DEFCON-1
Look, I’m just gonna lay it down for you. If you’ve never heard of Rosie Rocket before, then you’re just not paying attention. I mean, c’mon! The 2008 Rookie Joshi of the Year! Recipient of the 2010 and 2015 Tag-team Match of the Year awards, winner of the Tag-team of the Year award five years running, both as one half of the Rowdy Ruff Girls and as a member of the Axis of Awesome! The San Juan Sensation! Look, where Rosie Rocket goes, awesome happens. I may not know too much about her latest partner, Sophie Volkov, but if Rosie’s involved, then it’s gotta be golden. I, for one, can not wait to see what DEFCON-1 do in SWA.

El Hijo de Toxico
So, I’ll be honest. When Toxico came out and said he had something special for us, I didn’t know what the Hell to think. I mean, this guy’s beyond bat-shit crazy, so who knew what he was pulling out of the hat. I certainly wasn’t expecting the arrival of...he’s not really, is he? Seriously, Toxico doesn’t even look like he’s a day over thirty, so there’s no way he could have a son old enough to be wrestling, right? I know I don’t keep up on how this works in lucha libre, but I’m pretty sure it’s not really...look, I don’t know. Son, nephew, genetically engineered Mini-Me, whatever the case is, the guy’s impressive. Even if he is every bit as stupid-crazy as his predecessor.

But seriously...fuck that theme song.

Tommy Powers
All right, strap yourselves in, fuck-nuggets, because I’ve got some serious shit to say about Tommy Powers. Don’t get me wrong, he’s good. But he’s nowhere near as good as you’d think, if you just listened to him talk about himself. Tommy Powers has an attitude problem the size of Wisconsin, and I can’t stand listening to this fucking prick drone on and on about how great he is. It’s like Olivia got all the good wrestling genes in the family, and Tommy got all the smarmy douchebag “nice guy” dogturd genes. And yeah, yeah, this guy is in fact the cousin of Olivia Powers, and yeah, that probably means they’re gonna be tag-teaming. And you know, if that means they do well in the Summer Tag-League, then that’s great. I’ll be first in line to sing the fucking Hallelujah Chorus at his feet. But for the love of Mean Gene Okerlund, someone please shove a sock in this dipstick’s mouth, preferably one full of dimes.

unimportantguy
Look, normally I don’t include the guys that come in at Aftermath itself. I mean, that shit’s been and done already, and it’s not like we didn’t know this fucker was coming. They trotted out the fucking red carpet for his sorry ass and everything, like he’s something special. But let’s get one thing straight here, unimportantguy is not fucking special. He’s the furthest thing from; it says so right in his fucking name. And if it weren’t for the fact that this fuck-knob is now wrestling for my favorite organization, I wouldn’t even give him the time of day. Unimportantguy is a pseudo-intellectual, self-important sociopath, and an all-around hickory-smoked baboon’s asshole. This half-trained, no-talent dick-weasel yard-tard is a liability issue waiting to happen, even if he doesn’t fucking pull a gun on someone, or hit someone over the head with a lead pipe, or any of the other reprehensible shit he’s done. If you don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, just Google unimportantguy versus Jakob of Furis, and prepare to drop your jaw in shock and awe that they let this unhinged maniac into SWA. This cancerous lump of fuck has anger issues that make me look well-adjusted, and I’ve got “Angry” right there in my name!

Yeah, all-in-all, not a fan.

So, that’s SWA’s class of 2017. Sierra Wrestling All-Stars has five new wrestlers, and I need at least five more beers. See you next time, folks...assuming fucking unimportantguy doesn’t come after me with a goddamn samurai sword. Jesus fuck...

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Re: The NEW Sierra Wrestling All-Stars Thread!

Postby unimportantguy » Tue May 23, 2017 4:14 am

The lineup for the 2017 SWA Summer Tag League has been announced!

A Block:
Spoiler: show
BHB (Connor Cipris and Kazuo Saji)
DEFCON 1 (Rosie Rocket and Sophie Volkov)
Lucha con Carne (Toxico and El Halcon Loco)
Partycrashers (X-tasy and Rave)
A Study in Scarlet (Lina and El Hijo de Toxico)
Masked Ladies (Lexi Heart and Keilyn Coardes)
Radiant Demons (Damien Long and Kyle Sieras)
Fire on the Horizon (Blaze and Armel St. Martin)


B Block:
Spoiler: show
Havoc Theory (unimportantguy and Becky Bravo)
Los Diablos (Fabio Silva and Aguijon Tachibana)
Miracle Hearts (Mieko Suzuyama and Kaori Nakajima)
Tiger and Lion (LeRoy Roundtree and Kenichi Yamada)
Power Plant (Olivia Powers and Tommy Powers)
Shining Future (Brianna Dalton and Tigress Amita)
Insurgency (Ashton Mercer and Blake Hudson)
Kings of Summer (Robert Kingston and Zack Solberg)


The SWA Summer Tag League Tour begins on May 29th, with the League running right up until just before Emergence on July 30th.


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