That type of cancer is known for spreading very quickly, so in two weeks, if I go through with it, I start both chemo and radiation treatment, once a week for at least 6 months, if that works to shrink it, surgery to remove the tumor, although its pretty much experimental treatment, but my best hope they say, so there's that...
I didn't post this to bring anyone down, or to go on a pity trip, truth is I'm scared shitless, and at this point in my life don't really have a friends to hang with or vent to, besides my wife, who is devastated and whom I'm worried about the most....So I guess in a way this is my own 'bitching' thread..
Even after chemo, both my parents died in a short time of cancer, didn't help them, do I go through the hell that is treatment, when it likely will just make my last times terrible? If I don't I will die, if I do, likely die anyway, just at a later date, maybe....
But I think I have to go through with it, how would it look to my wife if I just give up?
Anyway, not sure how much I will be around in the future, its cool to see so many excitied over the soon to be released World, hope it lives up to many expections....
Whatever goes down, I have enjoyed my time here, made many friends, and have an edit or two out there that may live on in some way if I don't, really don't have much I can complain about....

For those that believe good thoughts actually help out, maybe throw some my way, maybe it will help, as I'm in for a hell of a ride....
